A New Year’s Prayer

“And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new…” (Revelation 21:5, KJV)

Oh, most loving Father, please let this be the year.  The year I turn my life around, the year I start doing better, the year I let you have your way with me.  Some think I’ve got it all together.  But they don’t know.  I know.  And I know you know.  How did it come to this?  I “go to church”, I give money.  I’m on this or that committee.  I’m in charge of such and such.  But it’s all so mechanical.  Something’s missing.  And it’s got to by my fault, because it cannot be yours.  I know that you love me even more than I love myself, and that you know better than I can ever know what’s good for me, and that there is nothing that you cannot do.  So please, Father, help me.  I’m afraid, and I don’t even know of what.  Not of dying, but of never having really lived, I guess.  Of never really being what you want me to be.

Y0u have withheld many abilities, but some you’ve granted.  Help me to know how to use them in a way that will please you.  I need your guidance.  I’m adrift.  Head me in the right direction.  Show me where to start, how to start.  I know that I cannot make it overnight, but help me to do one thing right today.  And perhaps another tomorrow?

There are all the worldly flaws, of course.  I eat too much and exercise too little.  I succumb to the mind-numbing and spirit-killing narcotic of television.  I spend money folloshly.  I waste time.  And on and on and…

But all of that matters little, I suppose.  More to the point, I don’t pray as I ought.  I don’t study your word as I ought.  I don’t love others as I ought.  I don’t accept your truths head-on.  I filter all that you are and all that your word teaches me to be through an affluent American filter, and thus rob it of all its power.

It’s so difficult for me to reject the world’s values and embrace yours.  But I know that I must if there’s ever to be any real joy in my life.  And I want that joy, not a temporary thrill but an abiding assurance that I’m in harmony with what you want for me.  How do I get that?  How do I let you give me that?  Please God, let me feel that day by day.

I worry.  Is ther ea way to not?  Is that something I can change?  Is it something you can change in me, if only I will let you?

Father, put me to some good use.  Do some good thing with me.  You must do it.  I don’t know how.  But I know that I must allow you to do it.  Help me to know how to do that.  It doesn’t have to make me any money.  It doesn’t have to be important in the eyes of men.  But please let it be something that’s important to you.  I don’t want my life to amount to nothing.  Please show me a way to please you.

Father, I know that there’s nothing magic about January 1.  I know that the best time to yield to you is always “right now”.  But Father, I cannot wait any longer.  I know that you alone can make me what I need to be.  Please do.  I don’t want to feel this way a year from now.  Father, I know that you love me.  Please let this be the year, for if not now then when?

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away;  behold, all things are become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17, KJV)

Tank Tankersley

Reprint, January, 2006